Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Object of the Day, Caption Contest: Cornflake S. Pecially

Click on image to go into the cornfield.



Once upon a time, this mutant came with some kind of explanation, but that’s been lost to the ages. What is he? He’s part cornstalk, part man, part cigar. He’s horrible and lovely all at once in that way that only Victorian advertising images can attain both qualities.

I’m sure that he once made some kind of sense—in a Nineteenth Century way. On the reverse, there are ragged traces—a letter here and there—that suggest that the card was printed with some justification for this regal monster. But, these cards were made to be saved in albums. Sometimes they were held in place with little paper corners. Sometimes they were glued in. This one was glued, and the back of the card was left behind when he was yanked from his album.

However, that just gives us an opportunity for a caption contest. What’s going on with this fellow? What could the product possibly be? What does he have to say? Answers in the comments section, please.




17 comments:

April said...

In the name of all that's Holy, what fresh Victorian hell is this? What produced this? Did his father mate with a cornstalk? What happens if you husk him? What's in there? Does he have lungs? How is he smoking?

Joseph Crisalli said...

All good questions.

Carolyn said...

A few weeks ago, you had The Sweetheart of the Corn. Well, now we know who her sweetheart is.

Sam P said...

Orville Redenbocker's father.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Also...ewww...

Matt said...

I'll never sleep or eat cereal again.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Pity.

Darcy said...

"I don't think we're in Kanas anymore ." Judy said to Liza as they stared at Mr. S. Pecially.
"Mama" Liza said, Let's go to Sardi's. I don't like it here. That man gave us bad scary medicine pills. Mr. Mayer will be mad at us.

Joseph Crisalli said...

"But," Mama said. "That IS Mr. Mayer. Don't be scared, honey. We're just over the rainbow. Over the rainbow monsters like this are acceptable. Well, well...I...I knew a scarecrow, Liza. A scarecrow and he was a monster, but no one seemed to care. And, a talking lion and...a man made of...well, he was made of tin. There were two of them. One struck oil and moved to Beverly. We never talked about it again. SO, just take the little pills that Mr. Corn Mayer has for you and be a good girl."

Gene said...

Corn Monsters. the breakfast of circus freaks.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Scary.

Dashwood said...

Do these stalks make my ass look big?

Joseph Crisalli said...

Your big corn ass makes your ass look big.

Angelo said...

Freaky

Marsha said...

What a horrible thing. I can't think of what it would advertise except door locks.

Joseph Crisalli said...

I'd want to keep that out of my home. Might be an effective campaign.

Shawn said...

Well, this is a puzzle. I do know one thing, if he decided to "stalk" you, it'd be a bit "corny." Ha!